17.5.05

What Might Be Worse Than Hell...

I was sitting on one of the benches in the ground floor of the UST main building in front of the bulletin boards waiting for my friends to come out of the bathroom when I noticed this poster in one of the bulletin boards. It said World Youth Day 2005 near the top a huge picture of John Paul II in the middle and at the bottom of the poster was a strip of masking tape that had the words "registration closed" written on it in blue ink. I really didn't think much of it at first. I figured maybe it was the poster for this year's World Youth Day and that they just haven't taken it down yet. And then I noticed the date on it. It said August. I suddenly felt sad. People were actually making plans to join JPII for this year’s world youth day and now he's gone.

I am not a devout catholic. I was baptized catholic and that's about it. I don't go to mass at all and I haven't even been confirmed nor do I intend on receiving that sacrament any time soon. Sorry. I just don't get organized religion. It's just too complicated. But even though I'm not one of his "faithful" followers I can't help but feel sad that he's not around anymore. Let's face it whether or not you believe in what the church teaches, you gotta admit that this was one heck of a guy. If anyone manages to accomplish the equivalent of even .05% of what he has done; it would be worth naming a national highway in this person's honor.

I remember somebody saying something interesting about the pope dying: "Now he'll know if everything he believed in is REAL."

This reminded of a conversation that I had with my friend Sheila back in high school. We were at Gate 7 waiting for our ride home and for some reason that I don't exactly remember we started talking about death and dying and what's the scariest thing about it. We both agreed that either eternal life or reincarnation would be cool but what if neither was true? What if we all just end up as worm food?

Ok. I know that I'm not supposed to obsess about this. There's no use being scared about something that you cannot do anything about. We are all going to go someday. I hardly ever think of how I'll eventually go (when I DO think about how I'll go, I figure it'd be lung cancer since I now smoke almost a pack a day, I think. Anyway, whoever invented the parenthesis was a damn genius because it allows me to put that in and even though it has nothing to do with the subject of the blog or wait a sec... shouldn't I be using a dash instead of a parenthesis... darn.... should've paid more attention during English writing class... these damn punctuation marks!!!) but I do think about what will happen after I die. Getting into Heaven would be great and going back for another try would be even better. Hell would be very painful but that's not even the worst that could happen. To me, the most dreaded thing that could happen is "nothing". It's like not existing. The only thing that I can think of that can best describe this is that it’s like passing out after drinking too much except that you do not get to dream while you're unconscious. Everything is an empty void and you don't even get to be aware that everything is an empty void because your consciousness doesn't exist anymore. A lot of people will say that as long as you were able to do something that is able to affect someone else's life in a positive way that nonexistence shouldn't be a big deal because you at least did something significant during your time here. Sure. Being remembered for affecting some positive change no matter how small would be great but here is the thing: The World and what happens to it is my favorite soap opera and I'd really love to know how all of this plays out.

It's like that thing about us earthlings eventually moving to mars. They say that in a hundred or so years that we might actually be ready to live in mars. Knowing that the average lifespan of human being nowadays is 82 years then, statistically speaking at least, it is highly unlikely that I will be alive when that day arrives. And if all awareness disappears when we die then I wouldn't even be able to witness it from afar. Wouldn't that just absolutely suck? Or maybe I just have way too much time on my hands... Aaaargh...

posted by jeanne @ 12:12 0 comments

8.5.05

"I want my marbles back!!! @#$%*!!!!"

"loosing your marbles" -- I have been thinking about this phrase or expression or whatever you call it all day. Why? Here's why:

I was looking for new objects for this the Sims 2(its a pc game. objects are things that they can put in their houses like chairs, tables, etc) Anyway a search lead me to a help forum about the game and I decided to read through some of the questions. Something very weird:

I found some people who were very desperate on finding out how to give their sims the Flu. ( There were actual posts that said "please help me I'm desperate")

Anyways for some reason I found this really funny and I started laughing out loud. My mom who was sitting on the bed behind me said "hoy, ba't tumatawa ka mag-isa?" I told her "wala lang" and then she said "bka kse naloloka ka na di pa namen alam"

So ever since she told me that I kept thinking of "loosing my marbles" and how great a movie line it could be (how my brain came up with this I do not know. Maybe my mom is right. I might be going nuts!!!)

Anyways I have come up with a couple of scenarios where this line can be used in a movie.

Scenario #1 (corny as in CORNY talaga)

Guy falls "madly" in love with this girl, girl runs away leaves him without a clue where she's going or why she even leaves. he goes nuts. goes through hell and high water to find the girl and when he finally does find her she asks him "whaddahell d'ya want?" he say's "I want my marbles back, bitch!!!"

Scenario #2 (eto mala "you complete me" or "you had me at hello" corny)

Some poor shmuck falls head over heels, they get together but the other person keeps cheating and lying till finally the guy/girl decides that he/she cannot take it anymore because the other person is driving him/her nuts confronts the other person all teary eyed and say's "I've already given you my whole heart, I can't afford to give you my marbles too."

Do any of you think either or the two could be a hit? hehe :p I didn't think so.

posted by jeanne @ 16:39 0 comments

Autistic and Apathetic Me

My friend Tupe was telling me about her adventures or should I say misadventures about this certain girl. Funny thing is I used to be inspired when I hear stuff like this. Now all I could tell her was that I could not imagine ever being that "dedicated" to a potential babe ever again. Its just not in me anymore. I used to feel actual physical pain whenever someone I like very much did not like me back. Now the only time that I can even find someone remotely attractive is when I am inebriated.

Its not that I have given up on or have stopped believing in "love", It's just that of all the things that are NOT going on in my life right now, not having someone to "love" is something that I'm fine with. They've always said that I was a little autistic. So I'm supposed to live in my own little world. Therefore, not meant to be part of a pair or something like that.
Its not that I have given up on or have stopped believing in "love", It's just that of all the things that are NOT going on in my life right now, not having someone to "love" is something that I'm fine with. They've always said that I was a little autistic. So I'm supposed to live in my own little world. Therefore, not meant to be part of a pair or something like that.

My very wise friend Tupe tells me that I just haven't found the right person yet. harhar!!! We'll see....

posted by jeanne @ 16:10 0 comments

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