Last week I thought of giving up smoking. Not because of my health, but because I wanted to have a valid reason
for feeling like shit.
I was succesful...
in finding a valid reason.
I realized that I am
not meant to succeed
at anything.
Excuse me while I light another cigarette...
And yes... I am the freak in the picture.
11.7.05
Dahil Wala Akong Pang-Load
I was fooling around with my dad's phone a couple of minutes ago (shhh!!!!). I do this when I need to sneak in a text message or two. Of course, I had to get rid of the evidence so I went into the "outbox" to delete the message that I sent and I found this message:
"U guys at least make this exercise in futility that we call life more dn bearable. hehe, drama ko no? Sori : ) Anyway, thx for listening or should I say reading? gudnyt :)"
Ang drama mo talaga!!!! Who da hell wrote this message? Parang malapit na mag-bigti. Harhar. Hmmm... Only 3 people use my dad's phone to text. That would be my dad, josh, and me.
My dad never writes text messages this long, so he's out.
Josh is a the king of drama and "senti" stuff in this household but I've never heard my brother use the word "futility" in his entire life so that leaves... oh shit.... this was me???
I can't believe I used to talk or write like this. What the heck was goin' on with me when I wrote this?
Lemmethink... Because I used "u guys" would mean that I sent this to more than one person (group text ba?) and that I sent this to my friends. Now based on the fact that I sent this to my friends and also based on what I know of myself and what things usually made me feel this way a long time ago, I can safely assume that this message was composed during the aftermath of another train-wreck in my subconscious lab life (pweh!!!). In layman's terms: Nanaginip na naman ako na may pag-asa ko sa gagang kinalolokahan ko.
Haaay.... the stuff that goes on in you head whenever you get dumped (technically, I have never been dumped before. You have to belong to someone before they can throw you away. Right?) All I can do now is laugh at the things that I did then.
What's the point of this story? Wala. I just find it funny that this message is still in my dad's outbox since it has to have been at least 2 years since I wrote this message. Another funny thing is that I don't know the number of the person to whom this message was sent to so I'm wondering if somebody has "quoted" (hehe. how's redundant was that?) me.
posted by jeanne @ 22:51
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