26.10.05

People Power Addiction

I was on my way to my mom's office in Malacañang last Friday. I was just about to get out of the FX that I was riding in when I saw what seemed to be 100-150 policemen who were blocking the Mendiola entrance to Malacañang. Other people in the FX started talking among themselves. "May rally na naman". Blah... Blah... Blah...

The guy sitting next started to froth at the mouth. "Grabe naman 'tong si Gloria, abusado!" Now I'm not a big Gloria fan or anything but if I was in her position and I had 400 people coming to kick me out of my house I'd at least take certain precautions...

"Grabe! Grabe talaga yang si Gloria! Wala na ngang ginagawang matino nakakasama pa! Dapat talaga patalsikin na yan!" To distract this guy from his monologue which was starting to irritate me I tried to talk to him, "E di bawal po pumasok diyan? Iikot pa po ba ako sa likod?" The guy then said "Bakit? RALLYISTA ka ba?" hmm... aren't we Mr. Snappish?

Anyway, I got out of the FX and crossed the street and I was looking around the hordes of policemen trying to see where I could get in. One policeman was nice enough to point me in the right direction, "Cge iha, dun oh. O.k. lang yan" he must've noticed that I was a little bit intimidated with the sheer number of them that were blocking the entrance. See... there's still hope. I am not what you would consider a bodacious babe. I get mistaken for being a "sir" a lot and this guy not only got it right by calling me "iha" instead of "iho" but he automatically assumed that I wasn't a pillbox wielding rallyist undercover as a student which is why he pointed me to the entrance.

On the way to the entrance I saw some field reporters interviewing a fishball vendor. I assume that they were asking him the usual questions like how he feels about Gloria, should she step down, etc. I got to thinking: What if some of them asked me about my opinion? What would I say? I was so afraid because I haven't been able to sleep in 2 days so all that I could've given them was a little shrug of the shoulder and then just walk away. Then everyone would think that I'm an idiot who doesn't care about what's going on with her country. Good thing they pretty much ignored me and I escaped, unscathed.

Last Saturday a couple of friends and I hung-out at a friend’s apartment after going out coz we didn't want to commute at 3am because we thought it wasn't safe so we got to talking about all these rallies that have been happening. All of us pretty much agreed that the rallies were pretty useless. If a none-friend read this I bet that he will think that were just a bunch of spoiled brats who don't have to deal with the real world that's why we can afford to be apathetic about the situation that our country is in. Well, I'm sorry if you think that way but you are wrong. I suppose you can consider me a brat but I am not spoiled. I personally, just don't think that any of this is helping one bit. Every rally just contributes to bringing the economy further down and even if you were successful in getting Gloria to step down, who do you think is going to replace her? Even if one person with the best of intentions manages to get elected as president of this country I doubt that he is going to make much of a difference. One person can't do it all. He is going to have to deal with all the other "politicians" who are only interested in bettering their own situations. The Philippines is still a democracy so the greater majority still holds all the cards. Even if there are some politicians out there who really care about our country, I'm sure their numbers are very very small compared to the ones who just use their position to get more money to keep their families and sometimes mistresses comfortable.

So what do I suggest? Here I am being all critical about this people power addiction that we are suffering of and yet I can't think of a better way to get out of this rut that we are in. Well here's an idea: Instead of kicking out every president that we are unhappy with how about WE CHOOSE RIGHT NEXT TIME? How about we start listening to candidates' platforms instead of just voting for the one who kisses the most babies and does the most song-and-dance numbers at their conventions? Listening to what these people have to say is very big thing because:

1. It lets us know if they have anything to say at all, which would enable us to determine if they really know what the heck their doing. Why would anyone in his right mind want to be a politician in the Philippines anyway? The pay isn't that good; you spend more to get elected than what you would earn if you just invested the money you used to get elected to buy a Jollibee branch or something.

2. It will give us something specific to hold them accountable for instead of just complaining about the fact that we still don't have enough money because guess what? no logical person expects a single politician to solve the country's financial crisis. So maybe if we actually held these guys accountable for something specific that they said they would do then maybe people who are normally as apathetic as I am can actually get the point of all this bickering that's going on so that I can actually get interested whenever I see you dishing out your litany of complaints on TV instead of just making me want to change the channel to see if HBO is already showing re-runs of Sex and the City.

But then again this is just what I think. What the heck do I know anyway? I haven't watched the news in a year. All I know is that all this is coming from some tape that they found that has Gloria talking to a COMELEC official about cheating? I find this sort of funny of course since no non-celebrity candidate has ever won an election wherein anyone can swear by the life of their first born that they are 100 percent positive that this candidate did not cheat. But then again this is the first time that we've ever had audio proof. Maybe its like that ERAP thing. We all know that most politicians are corrupt. It's just that he was stupid enough to get caught. So he got kicked out. So maybe Gloria will get kicked out eventually. So a very disturbing question comes into mind: Who will win this snap election that I've been hearing about. My money is on Susan Roces.

Great.... when that happens first thing I'll do is run to the nearest airport and buy a one-way ticket. Destination: Anywhere but here...

posted by jeanne @ 07:14 0 comments

Elevator Manual

I work in a building that has 20 floors and 3 elevators. Normally, this wouldn't be so bad except that when you work at a call center every second matters so having only 3 elevators to service 1000 people in 20 floors is crap. But it's really not that bad its just made worse by people who don't know how to use them properly. So here it is, advice for people who want to see another day if they ever share a building with me.

The Up arrow means up and Down arrow means down. Duh? I always thought it was kind of clever that they chose symbols instead of words for those elevator buttons. It's supposed to be universal. Doesn't matter whether you speak English, Filipino, German or whatever, I know that in most places in Europe that traffic tends to come from the right but red still means stop and green still means go. This is pretty much the same for those arrows that you press when you need to use the elevator. It's not asking you where the elevator is going. It's asking you where you need to go. So why the hell do some people press both buttons? I doubt that they are going to two places. I just want to strangle these people who come by and see that the Up button is already pressed so they press the Down button and then when the elevator opens nobody moves because obviously none of them are getting off at that floor and the dumb ass who pressed the down button stands by the door and asks "going Up?" What the fuck? Come on. Of course the damn thing is on its way down. You pressed the damn down button didn't you?

I'm not mad because I'm being prissy. I'm just being practical. This sort of stupidity takes up a lot of time. Instead of the elevator being able to go down at once it has to stop, open its doors for some idiot who can't follow simple instructions, and the people in the elevators, being that most of them are a lot nicer than I am wait around and not shut those doors at once. You really don't have to know that much about math to realize how much time this eats up. And an adult pressing buttons just because he can’t help it is not the same as when a 6 year old kid does it. It doesn’t look cute dude… its looks retarded.

posted by jeanne @ 06:48 0 comments

10.10.05

Malandi (Flirt) Daw Ako

There are a lot of words that I can think of that people can use to describe me. It's just that I never thought that the word "malandi" could ever apply to me but lately I would have to agree. Normally I wouldn't care what people think. I would just do as I please. It just ticks me off because I'd already said that I don't want anything to do with girls ever again. Of course this doesn't mean that I've finally been "converted". I just don't want to have to go through anything that has something to do with having a relationship. May it be with women and of course especially not with men. It's just that lately, I've been hearing a lot of "I told you that you couldn't do it" and "eh ano ka ngayon? ayaw na pala ha." and all of that good stuff. So, this got me to thinking: Have I finally uttered a very solemn promise that I couldn't live up to?

You see when I was in high school; whenever I told people that I think I'm not exactly straight or that I'm just not interested in men they would always tell me that it's just a phase, that I will eventually grow out of it and that the minute that I step in college that I would get a boyfriend and that I might even get pregnant before I graduate. I would tell these non-believers that they were so wrong, that I am not like everybody else and guess what? I was right. hehe. I was in UST for 5 years... never had a boyfriend...never wished for a guy to be my boyfriend (even though I did see some that made me raise an eyebrow a little bit when they were around)... kissed 1 boy... but all that did was pretty much convince me that I am not nor will I ever be interested in boys... ever...

Disclaimer: I am not saying that he was a bad kisser. I really wouldn't have known anyway since I had nobody to compare him to but here's the thing... he was cute... he was going to be a doctor... and I must admit I was a little bit attracted to him but... but I should've at least required a couple of beers to get over the fact that he could never be MINE [coz I think he was making "ligaw" another girl at the time (this isn't me being all collehiyala ek...ek... its just that 4 years ago, here in the Philippines, the term dating wouldn't apply until you are actually boyfriend-girlfriend. The guy makes ligaw (or courts) first and they just start dating when the girl quits making "pakipot"(playing hard to get)] but no... I was over it before the 15-second kiss (French kiss to be more specific :p) was through.

Anyway, I've never known myself to say something like "I swear, I don't want this or I don't want that" and end up doing something that goes against what I said. I've never even had to have to do anything about not doing what I said I wouldn't do (HUH...). It'll just end up being that way. Like back in college I never had to consciously stop myself from falling in love (pweh...) with some guy. But why is this happening to me now? How come I like "them" and my friends are suddenly telling me that I'm "malandi"? Has the routinary work that I've been stuck doing for the last 2 years taken its toll and has caused my cerebrum to atrophy thereby affecting my almost psychokinetic powers to stop myself from feeling things that I said I wouldn't feel? Have I've become a freakin' scatterbrain?

This has gotten me so worried that I have started reading again. I even put myself through a 4-hour solo marathon study session at Starbucks when I could just as easily have not gone to school and took the test with people who were going to take a make-up test 4 days later just so I could give my brain some exercise. Problem was I was so freakin distracted by thoughts of "them" that I think I didn't do too well in that stupid test. Now I wish I just took the make-up test instead. Shit... I really have become a scatterbrain.

Now, I have 48 hours of rest in my hands since I don't have to go back to work and school until Tuesday. So I've been trying to analyze what the heck is going on with me and I have come up with a conclusion that can save me from having to put myself through my own very brutal but very effective brand of aversion therapy. I am not going back on my word. Someone out there has designed it so that I can live up to what I said but still have a little fun. hehe. I do like "them" a lot but it's very clear that I can't have them so I don't have to worry. Two of them are in gazillion-year relationships with their respective significant others and the other one is definitely straight. I know that that I've always said that there is no such thing as a straight person, just someone who hasn't met her match yet and that people have been known to fall for someone else even if they're already involved but I believe and have also scientifically proven that this will never happen as long as I'm the idiot involved in the situation. I neither have the fortitude nor the skills to change people's minds. This isn't me not having enough confidence in myself. That's just been how it has been for the as long as I can remember and I'm fine with it. Or at least I think I am... (hmm...) All I know is flirting with "them" has made me feel very very very inspired to do the things that I have to do these past few months. What can be wrong with that?

posted by jeanne @ 08:07 0 comments

Full-Time

My week has been absolute hell (my gulay...mga lola, I think SHE is starting to rub off on me... when I start saying boo or stuffs... do me a favor -- shoot me! Pls!?!). I have been running back and forth between school and work for the past 2 weeks. I don't remember the last time that I've had a decent night's rest.

I've always tried to tell myself not to regret any of my choices. Its not that I think I always make the right ones but I figured that regretting stuff that I can't change will just be a waste of my time. But lately doing this has become a tat more difficult than usual because I can't help but give myself in the little kick in the head whenever I realize that this is all my fault. I made my life a lot more complicated than it was meant to be. I was supposed to be a chemist and forever be stuck in some laboratory trying not to blow myself into smithereens but no... I had to give that up and work in a call center to spend more time with some jerk that I used to know. But I eventually gave that up too because I really hate having to talk for 8 hours and having to go beg every time I want to take a 1 day rest ( which was going to be unpaid anyway!!!)... so I decided that I never want to work in a call center again. If I'm not going to get the opportunity to make the world a better place I at least would like to have a job wherein I have control of my own time so I decided to study M.T. But of course becuase of my awesome luck studying M.T. turned out to be neither cheap nor easy so here I am... back where I started. I have no money, no time for myself and I am working in a call center again mweh hehe.

But I'm not really complaining. I know I have it easy compared to some other people out there. So what if I go to work for 8 hours, go to school for another 4 hours and then have to deal with traffic when I go home. At least now I can say that I have a full-time life. It ain't that much fun (not yet :)) but at least I don't have time be bored anymore.

posted by jeanne @ 07:40 0 comments

7.10.05

Birthday Shmirday....

Well my 24th birthday just passed. Shucks... in 6 years I'll be 30 and 10 years after that I'll be 40. What I don't get is I've always known that life is just too short but how come I haven't done anything worthwhile in 24 freaking years. Yeah, yeah... I've done lots of fun things with my friends but when I think about it I haven't really done anything I would consider productive.

career: zippo so far... in the process of building one... still no guarantees though... I have to pass the course and hope to the highest heavens that I get through the job applications...

love: ay...yay...yay... don't even get me started... please!!!

times I've made even a "microscopic" dent in making the world a better place: well... I did sneak out of the house to go to the EDSA 2 rally to oust ERAP... does that count? Pero this was like 4 years ago and since then all I've done was suck in precious air and contribute to global warming by smoking cigarettes so what little difference I've made in going to that rally has been pretty much cancelled out.

You know that song that has this line "every 5 years or so I look back on my life and I have a good laugh..." aaargh...

I just turned 24. Maybe I'll get to laugh next year...

posted by jeanne @ 11:50 0 comments

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