Last week I thought of giving up smoking. Not because of my health, but because I wanted to have a valid reason
for feeling like shit.
I was succesful...
in finding a valid reason.
I realized that I am
not meant to succeed
at anything.
Excuse me while I light another cigarette...
And yes... I am the freak in the picture.
10.10.05
Full-Time
My week has been absolute hell (my gulay...mga lola, I think SHE is starting to rub off on me... when I start saying boo or stuffs... do me a favor -- shoot me! Pls!?!). I have been running back and forth between school and work for the past 2 weeks. I don't remember the last time that I've had a decent night's rest.
I've always tried to tell myself not to regret any of my choices. Its not that I think I always make the right ones but I figured that regretting stuff that I can't change will just be a waste of my time. But lately doing this has become a tat more difficult than usual because I can't help but give myself in the little kick in the head whenever I realize that this is all my fault. I made my life a lot more complicated than it was meant to be. I was supposed to be a chemist and forever be stuck in some laboratory trying not to blow myself into smithereens but no... I had to give that up and work in a call center to spend more time with some jerk that I used to know. But I eventually gave that up too because I really hate having to talk for 8 hours and having to go beg every time I want to take a 1 day rest ( which was going to be unpaid anyway!!!)... so I decided that I never want to work in a call center again. If I'm not going to get the opportunity to make the world a better place I at least would like to have a job wherein I have control of my own time so I decided to study M.T. But of course becuase of my awesome luck studying M.T. turned out to be neither cheap nor easy so here I am... back where I started. I have no money, no time for myself and I am working in a call center again mweh hehe.
But I'm not really complaining. I know I have it easy compared to some other people out there. So what if I go to work for 8 hours, go to school for another 4 hours and then have to deal with traffic when I go home. At least now I can say that I have a full-time life. It ain't that much fun (not yet :)) but at least I don't have time be bored anymore.
posted by jeanne @ 07:40
0 Comments: