12.9.05

A TRIBUTE TO WHAT USED TO BE MY FAVORITE DAY OF THE WEEK

Hey peeps! Found something on the internet. Guess who this is?

Here's a clue: she's the first person that I ever gave flowers to...

Still don't know who she is? here's another picture...

Nadda still? Well this next clue should close the deal....

"I had the inspiration, to call you on the phone
to say that I once loved you, there ain't nobody home
the nights are cold and empty are you out there alone
without me?"

Yup it's our Maureen. I found her website. Too bad it doesn't seem like they're updating it anymore. My friends and I used to follow Big Deal everywhere and I mean EVERYWHERE (We even watched one of their gigs in CUBAO for christssake!!!). They had regular Thursday gigs at Felix. And of course we would always watch and then I would end up having to commute home at around 3am (sometimes in my school uniform!) but so what??? At least I got to see her perform. hehe.

I remember that, once, I gave her flowers. I think it was for her birthday. Just totally sucks that she was on leave during the week of her birthday so I just asked Chanda to give it to Mauh for me. Now, the following week I think I was sick or something so I wasn't able to go and she told a friend of mine to say thank you for her. Now I'm not exactly sure if this was true or if she EVEN got the flowers but guess what? I don't care either! I choose to die believing that Mauh once said "thank you." to me (I take whatever I can get, rememer?).

I really miss Big Deal. If there's one band that I want to see reunite, it would be Big Deal. Don't care if they sing still "Hey" by fatima rainey or raimey or whatever her name is. I will take it as long as it's them performing.

And Mauh, i just want you to know that whenever I sing this song... I SING FOR IT FOR YOU!!! (I REALLY AM such a dork. hehe)

"It's just not enough for me to say
I love you so much is there no way
started to live for the very first time
I never have felt this way before
whatever it is give me some more
started to live for the very first time

Coz it's, its your love
that I'm dreaming of
theres only two of us and I...
I LOVE YOU..."

P.S. Wala po sanang demandahan sa pag-post nung pictures. Fan lang naman ako... oki?

posted by jeanne @ 01:18 0 comments

11.9.05

Estudyante Blues

I started my M.T. classes last week. I've been looking forward to this for the past few months because it sort of felt like I was finally going back to school and I really want to see if I can do well with something that actually requires you to study. Coz from what they've been telling us it seems that M.T. is like taking up medicine except that you're going to have to learn everything in just 6 months. So I figured hmm. "Medyo challenging ito 'tol.". Here’s my question: If there are a lot of things that we need to learn, then why the hell are they wasting our time with "computer essentials" and "english 100" stuff? I mean come on... haven't these people ever heard of diagnostic tests? The computer basics class lasted for 2 4-hour meetings. Good thing we had internet access during the time or else I would have fallen into a coma because of absolute boredom. They were teaching me how to create folders and save files in the computer. And as for the English class, I'm only looking forward to the day when we discuss punctuations because I figured that would be very useful in M.T. because as of now all we've done is give our teacher sentences using certain patterns. Stuff like I run, he runs, we run, they run, It runs, and so on...grrr....

O.k. Fine. If they have to teach us these things then I would just have to suck it up and take it in but the least that our so-called teachers can do is adjust their activities based on the skills of their students. Like in that computer essentials class, she wanted to teach us how to type faster. So what she had us do was type asdf, jkl', qwer, zxcv, nm,., and so on... do you get the pattern? Considering that all of us took this online typing exam and the lowest wpm that anybody got was 38wpm should've shown her that we were all touch-typists meaning we already know where everything is at on the computer keyboard. So why was she giving us exercises that are used to help people memorize the keyboard? Typing asdf asdf asdf asdf adsf until you have 6 lines of it is really irritating. Not to mention that I don't think it helps one bit since I'll just be typing the same letters which just happen to be next to each other on the keyboard over and over. So you're not really memorizing where the letters are at, you're just memorizing a pattern of how to move your fingers but the last time I checked the dictionary, I didn't find any words spelled like asdfg or zxcvb. So how is this going to help us to not look at the keyboard while we're typing? Also in the English class, gosh, that thing where the teacher goes around the room, making people give sample sentences just to make sure we know all what a "verb" is, is just oh so grade school. The average age of the people who are taking this class with me is 30, most of them are professionals who, I can only assume, have semi-good paying jobs because they were able to afford taking this course, 1 is a full-time mom, and another one is a call-center agent like me, and from what I've heard I'm the only one who doesn't have a degree so why the heck are they teaching us the same way that they would teach a kid in his or her 3rd grade? -- Oh, and another thing...you know my side kwento stuff, right? Anyway, from what I know, a "verb" is something different from a "burb" (because it sure sounds like she is saying "burb" to me). For an English major who has been teaching English for I don't know how long... maybe forever... you would expect that she would've figured out how to make the "v" sound by now. But no...

All I'm asking for is a little show of effort. I paid good money to take this class so I'm expecting my teachers to teach me things that I need to learn and not stuff that I already know. None of the other 8 people who are taking this course are stupid either so; their teaching methods only show me that they are not really thinking. They're just reciting something that they have memorized. This really blows considering the fact that taking this class was not cheap at all. This is the only career investment that I've made in my life and so far they've wasted 2 weeks' worth of it.

posted by jeanne @ 10:49 0 comments

9.9.05

Aaaargh....

I never thought of myself as a smart person. But I never thought that I was this stupid either. Did I really think that my luck was going to change for the better after years of being shown otherwise?

"What the heck happened to this lunatic?" you ask... well...

I just found "someone's" profile on Friendster and although I didn't see much I saw the most dreadful words that you could ever see on the profile of the person you happen to like. Three little words have managed to send the sky crashing down on me, knock me off my feet and hit me at the back of the head for good measure(just to make sure I realize how much of an idiot I've been). What were these awful words? It’s... (Better brace yourselves)...here it is: "IN A RELATIONSHIP". Three God forsaken words that don't even form a complete sentence. Darn it!!!

I know I am being melodramatic. I know I'm not at all entitled to feel this way since I don't really have anything invested in it. So what if she is in a relationship? To say that I barely know her would be a huge overstatement because I DON'T KNOW HER AT ALL. I always assumed that there was somebody else and like I said before; even if there wasn't; I could always produce scientific proof that there was no way that I could stand a chance even if hell froze over. So... why then do I feel like a train just ran over me? Did I really think that I was finally going to get the benefit of divine intervention with this one? Was I really ready to change my mind? Am I supposed to do something about this or should I just take this as the very obvious sign that it is and just forget about it? I honestly don't know.

All I know is that the mere thought of being able to chat with her for a couple of minutes every now and then has managed to keep a smile welded on my face for weeks, has made me look forward to weekdays instead of weekends and has made me want to try to be the best when being good enough would've done just fine. All in all she (it's such a cliché I know! sorrrry!!!) has brought out the best in me. But I guess making me write a few corny lines is just about as far as this insanity can go.

A lot of people tell me "If you like her that much, then why are you just going to give up? DO SOMETHING! ANYTHING!!!” Well I did, I actually prayed and asked for a sign and guess what? It worked. Though it wasn't exactly the sign that I was hoping for to but I got one nonetheless, hehe. See, I'm not at all religious but I believe that whatever higher power exists out there understands the inner workings of my being enough to realize that somebody being "in a relationship" would never motivate me to take a risk and try something. But this doesn't mean that I like her less. I just prefer keeping my pain for myself. hehe. Drama no?

posted by jeanne @ 12:40 0 comments

<< Home