6.2.06

I Need A Shrink...

About 4 days ago I went nuts. Now I know some people who have known me for quite a while might argue that I have been crazy since the day they met me but I really believe that I had a mental breakdown several days ago. I'm not exactly sure how it happened but I took one look at her walking away from me with that guy and I just lost it and I did something very, very horrible.

I should've just gone postal. I should've picked up every beer bottle within sight and should've just started to systematically smash them on this guy’s head but no... I had to do something much, much worse...

I started to think that I could do something to stop "this" from happening...

I thought that if this guy thinks I'm just gonna take this lying down then he's got another thing comin'. Mwehehe. This could very well have been the stupidest and looniest idea that I've had in my entire life because there is absolutely nothing that I can do to stop it. I could come up with the solution to world hunger tomorrow and it still wouldn't make a bit of a difference, at least, not the way I want it to. I bet even the most optimistic person in the world can take a look at this situation and say that nothing short of divine intervention can help me come out victorious in this war. And since based on every religion that I am aware of, even God himself (...or herself for some people) can't possibly be on my side on this one, it is safe to assume that I'm nothing but screwed.

Sorry guys, false alarm. I thought I had it in me but I don't. The whole make "da moves" thing is just sooo not me. I thought long and hard about the things that happened last Friday and though it wasn't bad, it just didn't sit well with me. Come to think of it if I really care as much as I claim I do then I should realize that I can't be with anyone when my mind is this freaky.

Oh... and I've also realized that what I really want, I will never ever get as long as the need to ask questions still exist. So, since we live in a world wherein you can't get answers unless you ask questions and since most of the time people in my situation don't even get the opportunity to ask then I think it's best that I just give up and hope that I am given the opportunity to do what I do best... the whole "just being there for her" thing.

It's no big deal anyway. If it’s not him then it's going to be somebody else that I don't even know. It's actually better if ends up being him though. This way, if he does something stupid and ends up hurting her in any way, it will be easier for me to lure him into a secluded area and show him what the word "vivisection" means :p

posted by jeanne @ 03:25

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